Texty: Stephen Lynch. The Craig Machine. Vanilla Ice Cream.

Have a seat and listen, please don't say a thing
In matters of the heart sometimes, the truth will have a sting
Just don't take it personally, this is no attack
But we will never last because I am white and you are...also white

I only like black girls and brown girls, the cafe au lait
Caramel girls, and mocha girls just blow me away
If your a nubian, I want you to-be in every fantasy
But if you're a whitey, say nighty-nighty, your just not the girl for me

Oh I hate vanilla ice cream, I like chocolate instead
I hope she likes her soul food with a little Wonder Bread
Don't call it Jungle Fever cause that just isn't right
I am not a racist, some of my best friends are white

I just prefer black girls, the brown girls, the cafe au lait
Caramel girls and mocha girls just blow me away. If you're a cracker, you better get blacker or else you best get out
It is no mystery, I like a sister see that's what I'm talkin about

Our wedding song will be "Ebony and Ivory", and we'll sing Christmas carols round the old Kwanza tree

But color is not the issue here, it's dignity, it's class
It's all about her heart, okay it's partly about that ass
I want me some black girl, the brown girl, the cafe au lait
Caramel girls, and mocha girls, just blow me away
If you're a honkey, you're singin the wrong key, it's the honest truth
The skin that she's dwellin in, must contain melanin, that is the Fountain of Youth.

Thomas Jefferson.

Robert DeNiro.

David Bowie.

To a certain extent...Ted Dansen.

Strom Thurmond!!! Strom Thurmond!!! yeeeahh...