Texty: Soundtrack Artists. All For You.

GERTRUDE
I had a little trouble
'Cause I grew a little tail.
Well, it wasn't really little.
It was absolutely giant!
And it really was attractive
But you never even noticed,
So I felt a little silly even trying
Besides which the tail was too heavy
For normal flying.

HORTON
Go on.

GERTRUDE
Well, when the hunters caught you
I could see that I'd been foolish
'Cause I couldn't even help you
No, I couldn't even fly.
And I got so very frightened
'Cause I knew I had to save you.
No one else was gonna go to all the labor.
It was all up to me,
All you had was your next door neighbor.

(THE CAT as DR. DAKE enters.)

GERTRUDE
So I ran to the doctor.

CAT AS DR. DAKE
The doctor named Dake.
And she said.-

GERTRUDE
My tail has been a mistake!

CAT AS DR. DAKE
And she said:

GERTRUDE
Dr. Dake, I've been foolish and vain.

Pluck it out! Get it off!
I won't do it again!

CAT AS DR. DAKE
Pluck! Pluck! Pluck!

GERTRUDE
Ouch, it hurt a lot!

CAT AS DR. DAKE
Pluck! Pluck! Pluck!

GERTRUDE
Ooh, a tender spot

CAT AS DR. DAKE
Pluck! Pluck! Pluck!

GERTRUDE
Just a one feather tail...

DR. DAKE, GERTRUDE & BIRD GIRLS
But suddenly, Gertrude could sail!

GERTRUDE (dramatically)
I sailed on a junk
And was practically sunk
For you.
I trampled thorough the trees
Full of furious bees
For you.
I slogged through a fog
And a choking smog
Down a soggy slope
Through a stinking bog
While my slip was gripped
By a vicious dog
For you.

GERTRUDE BIRD GIRLS
I galloped through the snow ooh...
In eleven below
For you.
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Yes, even though I knew ooh...
I was catching the flu
For you
(achoo!) (achoo!)
And then came the hole ooh
Where I caught my sole ooh
And I rolled downhill ooh
Out of all control ooh
'Till I broke my fall
On a jagged shoal
For you!
ooh, ooh, ooh, ahh!
All for you
All for you
All for you
All for you
There's nothing that I
Wouldn't
And I couldn't
And I haven't gone through...
ahh, aah, aah, aah!

(With tremendous conviction and grit!)

I sprained my little toe, but la-la-la-la-la!
I hobbled like so la-la-la-la!
For you. La-la-la-la-la-la-la!
ooh ... Ooh ... Ooh
Then came the hit and run la-la-la-la-la!

But I staggered on one la-la-la-la!
For you. La-la-la-la-la-la-la!
Now, here I am, ahh-ah!

The worse for wear
And here you are ahh-ah!
I'm here!
You're there!
And maybe now ah!
You'll know I care ahh-ah!
For you! Ooh!
ooh ...

GERTRUDE
Oh, yes. And Horton, one more thing...

It took me seven weeks...
But I found your clover,
Too!

(HORTON eagerly takes the clover from GERTRUDE)

HORTON, DR. DAKE & BIRD GIRLS
WHO!

HORTON
Gertrude...I never noticed...you're...Amazing!

GERTRUDE
Aw, it was nothing.

HORTON
Hello, Whos, hello! Is anyone there?

(HE holds the clover to his ear and gets an answer as MR. MAYOR, MRS.
MAYOR appear)

MRS. AND MRS. MAYOR
Hello!!

HORTON
Oh, what a relief! Why, hello, Mr. Mayor! Is JoJo all right?

(HE listens again)

JOJO
Hi, Horton!

HORTON
Oh, JoJo! Hello!
Kid, now that I've got you, I won't let you go!
I'll shelter and guard you, because after all,
A person's a person
No matter how small!

MR. AND MRS. MAYOR, JOJO, HORTON, GERTRUDE
A person's a person
No matter how...

(THE CAT IN THE HAT interrupts this tender moment with a whistle.)

CAT
How happy and sweet...but this tale is not over!

JOJO
Oh yes it is, too! Get me down from this clover!

CAT
I'm sorry, there's no happy ending in sight!
So all I can say is - Hey, JoJo, hold tight!

(THE WICKERSHAM BROTHERS
and the SOUR KANGAROO/YOUNG KANGAROO appear)

WICKERSHAM #1
Ha!

WICKERSHAM #2,3
Ha!

SOUR KANGAROO
Humph!

GERTRUDE
How did you get here?!

SOUR KANGAROO
You can't run away from a sour kangaroo
Palm Beach to Pittsburgh to Kalamazoo
And you - with your egg and your tree and your nest!
I'm making a sour citizen's arrest!

HORTON
Wait! Stop! Where are you taking me?

SOUR KANGAROO & WICKERSHAMS
Well Horton, we're taking you back.
You're gonna be goin' in style.
For talkin' to a speck
And sittin' on an egg

WICKERSHAM #3
You're gonna be...

WICKERSHAM #2
Gonna be...

WICKERSHAM #1
Gonna be...

SOUR KANGAROO
Gonna be...

SOUR KANGAROO & WICKERSHAMS
Gonna be put...
On trial!

(Segue to a courtroom in the Jungle of Nool.
The CITIZENS OF THE JUNGLE will serve as the jury.
THE CAT plays the court's MARSHAL.)