Texty: Guttermouth. Gusto. Lemon Water.

[Chorus:] What in the hell is wrong with people
The deranged should be caged
What is wrong with people
It must be them can't you see
That it couldn't be me
Where their road ends
That's where mine begins:
There's a giant hole in my heart
But all I have to do
Is fill it up with alcohol
It closes all the holes
It hides all my boredom
And subdues my restlessness
It enhances my personality
But makes me order 3 orders of buffalo wings
When I would normally have just one
It forces me to bob my head to songs that I really really hate
And it makes me want to strike someone at the bar
Who orders 2 waters with lemon
And once again I find myself bobbing my head to a mediocre song
When I notice 2 marginally attractive girls parking it next to me at the bar
Sipping spring water with a twist of lemon
[Chorus]
and I'm ready to puke when a small child sits next to me at the bar
but that's ok because to me other people's kids are fine
so it's no surprise that it's parents are ordering water with lemon
and a root beer for the child
do you ever find yourself striving for perfection
with a virtually worthless attempt at it
and is that why I find myself eavesdropping constantly
sports bars are the best places to meet people you hate
not that I've actually met anyone
it's just a matter of listening to their conversations and assuming that you hate them
when of course that probably isn't true
because I can get along with anyone if I absolutely have to
[Chorus]
oh here we go a couple a few tables down just ordered lunch
the guy wearing a basketball tank top is having a veggie burger with fruit instead of fries
and his husky date is just having a salad:it must be their first date
and what goes better with rabbit food than ice water with a slice of lemon
sometimes I think if I could be anyone in the whole world I would be a magician
no than I would hate myself more than I already do
but at least then I could make all of these people in the bar be more like me
or even make them befriend me but then again I could become one of them
and only then would I understand the benefits
of putting a slice of lemon in ordinary drinking water
[Chorus]